One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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