I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
