My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
