the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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