C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
