Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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