I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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