69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
