please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
