i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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