too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
