Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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