i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
bring money and cleavage
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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