can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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