I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
