i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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