I need help removing her.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
