Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
