if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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