I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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