Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
