Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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