Why does Corona taste like a burp?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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