it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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