There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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