It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
