I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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