what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
