id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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