I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
