i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
