all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
