Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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