5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
