He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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