i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
