i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
