If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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