For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
