I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize