i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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