I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize