I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
