In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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