I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
