I wannas sexs uuuuu
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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