Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
And then he peed in my hair
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