epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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