Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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