No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
