There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
