You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
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