Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize