Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
is it fun? or sober?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
