i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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