I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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