We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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