Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
