tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize