Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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