i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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