all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
